Two of the Hardest Things to Say (And Why We Need to Say Them)

We live in a world where speed and certainty are prized. Everyone’s expected to have a take, a plan, an answer. But the truth is, two of the most powerful phrases we can say are also the two most avoided:

1. “I don’t know.”

2. “I was wrong.”

Both are hard. Both are necessary. And both change what happens next.

Why “I Don’t Know” Matters

We’ve been trained to see not knowing as a weakness. In meetings, leaders bluff. Online, people posture. The pressure is always to have something. But admitting you don’t know doesn’t shrink your credibility, it expands it.

We need to say it because it creates space for learning and collaboration.

In design leadership, saying “I don’t know” unlocks the expertise already in the room because clarity comes faster when you stop pretending you already have it. And when I teach human-centered design, I remind students that “I don’t know” is often the most honest place to begin research.

In life, the same principle applies. When my kids ask a question I can’t answer, saying “I don’t know” models curiosity and honesty far better than faking certainty. It opens the door for us to discover together. And in friendships, it signals I’m willing to be real, not perform.

That’s why we need to say it: “I don’t know” turns fear into a shared sense of curiosity and transforms isolation into connection.

Why “I Was Wrong” Matters

This one cuts even deeper. Admitting you were wrong means surrendering the ego boost of being right. It feels costly in the moment. But nothing pays back faster in trust.

We need to say it because it restores relationships and realigns priorities.

In my Design Impact Framework, I talk about how capacity and capability only matter if priorities are set correctly. More than once, I’ve had to admit that I got the priorities wrong. Each time, that honesty didn’t set me back, it reset the team with stronger alignment.

In life, “I was wrong” has been just as powerful. Whether it’s apologizing to my wife after a careless comment or admitting to a friend that I misjudged them, those three words have done more to strengthen relationships than any clever defense ever could.

That’s why we need to say it: “I was wrong” transforms conflict into repair and posturing into trust.

Together, They’re Strength Multipliers

“I don’t know” opens the door to learning.“I was wrong” opens the door to trust.

Together, they create cultures where growth and honesty matter more than appearances. They defuse ego so that actual progress can happen.

And it’s not just true in boardrooms or design studios. It’s true around dinner tables, in marriages, in parenting, and in friendships. In design, in leadership, and in life, these are the conditions that unlock impact.

That’s why we need to say them.

In a time where everyone is rewarded for being loud, try being brave instead. This week, practice saying one of these phrases. See what doors it opens.